I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Randomize
