i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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