this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
