i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
