You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
