GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Im part way to drunk.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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