No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
