He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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