i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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