I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize