WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
