My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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