I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize