I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
