Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude i'm inner monologue high
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
