its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
