I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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