I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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