shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
