More tranny stories later!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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