We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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