he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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