when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
