the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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