I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
