do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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