Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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