Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The Olympian is in my bed
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
