is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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