you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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