too bad you live with your parents still
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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