We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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