her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize