is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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