The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
