Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
