Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
