Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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