why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
