Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
