im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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