So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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