First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
