you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
