We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just pee around me
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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