I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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