my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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