Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize