so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she told me i tasted like america
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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