That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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