After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
