I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
