so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It was confusing and full of hummus
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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