Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
