Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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