This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
