WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
