I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
