Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
