she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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