Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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