She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
