your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
