sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
