I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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